1. Get to know yourself. Acknowledge your likes and dislikes, strengths, and weaknesses. Where would you like to go with your life? What are you values and ideals? How does your body tell you when you are stressed or tired? How do you behave when stressed?

2. Take control of your life. Look at your lifestyle and see what you need to change to become more true to yourself. Are there any obstacles to these changes? How might you overcome them? Do you need to be more assertive?

3. Manage your commitments. Tackle one thing at a time. Don't try to do it all at once. Don't try to be perfect. Do essential tasks and prioritize others. Make a commitment to your health.

4. Recharge your energy. Balance work with leisure. Indulge in your pleasures. Preserve some personal time for yourself. Have some fun! Don't be too competitive. Fix any sleep problems by developing a regular routine, relaxing, and avoiding evening stimulants.

5. Take time for relaxation. Slow down when you can, and avoid sustained pressure. Make time for activities you enjoy. Retreat to a state of total mental and physical rest for a few minutes daily. If you need alcohol, nicotine, or other drugs to help you relax, you will become dependent on them. If this has already occurred, you will need to learn natural relaxation skills to enable you to withdraw from these.

6. Develop your relationships. Recognize love and friendliness from others, and reciprocate with honesty and openness. Make the first move to be friendly. Make an effort to listen, and check that you have understood correctly. Share your worries - talk with friends, professional counselors, support groups, or relatives about what is bothering you.

7. Avoid aggression. Learn assertive skills. Debate your case appropriately and constructively. Communicate your needs. Compromise where you can without losing your direction. Recognize that it is not your fault if someone doesn't listen, is disrespectful of you, or seeks conflict with you in other ways.

8. Develop your skills. If you face difficulties in your work, domestic, or social life, rise to the challenge by seeking study or training.

9. Keep fit. (Always build up your exercise gradually and check with you GP first if you think you are unfit.) Physical activity releases muscle tension, improves circulation, and reduces blood pressure. It improves confidence, and some activities have social benefits, too. Occasional vigorous activity defuses anger and produces a pleasant afterglow, but do not overindulge in this.

10. Watch your diet. Caffeine aggravates this stress reaction. Remember it is in many drinks including some so-called health drinks and some common headache remedies. Sugar and fats reduce your ability to cope with stress. Don't skip meals. Eat plenty of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and foods high in protein but low in fat that will help to optimize your health. Drink lots of water. Avoid refined foods and excessive alcohol.

Special thanks to Brian Potts, Norfolk Stress Clinic, Norwich, UK.

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